JOKEYYYS :D

Q. How do you make a strawberry shake?
A. Put it in the freezer.

Q. What is a vampire's favourite fruit?
A. A neck-tarine!

Q. How do you fix a broken tomato?
A. Tomato paste!

Q. What school subject is the fruitiest?
A. History – because it is full of dates!

Q. What fruit teases you a lot?
A. A Ba na..na..na..na..na!  

Q. What kind of apple has a short temper?
A. A crab apple.

Q. What happens to grapes when you step on them?
A. They wine!

Q. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A. With a pumpkin patch!

Q. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A. Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Q. Why was the tomato blushing?
A. Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q. What do you do with a dead chemist? 
A. Barium.

Q. Why do chemists prefer nitrates? 
A. Because they're cheaper than day rates.

Q. What's the first thing you should learn in chemistry? 
A. Never lick the spoon.

Q. What is the name of the first electricity detective?  
A. Sherlock Ohms.

Q. Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
A. NaBrO!

Q.  What did one electron say to the other electron?
A.  Don't get excited. You'll only get into a state!

Q. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A. You may have graduated but I've got many degrees.

Q. What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
A. Fission Chips.

Q. Why is electricity so dangerous?
A. It doesn't conduct itself.

Q. What do you call a Catholic church service that is very, very important?
A. Critical mass.